Moderation works
My friend Jessica and I met for coffee yesterday and she said to me, "I'm having issues with sugar. I did great on a keto diet, because it eliminated all of the sugar so I didn't have cravings. But I can't have just a LITTLE sugar, so the idea of moderation just doesn't work for me."
And she sounded kind of annoyed with me for even mentioning it.
So I thought about that.
It does seem like I... and other nutrition professionals... talk up moderation a lot. Like it's so simple. But when it comes to some of those more addictive things like sugar, moderation IS hard. So we end up with these labels for ourselves like we are binge eating, overeating, compulsive eating, we have eating disorders, we're a carb addict. I've said these things about myself too. But is it really ME? Is it really YOU? Is the problem always with YOU?
Lots of people seem to have this issue. Maybe we should re-think these labels that point to some flaw in ourselves. I mean, having an abundance of cheap, sugary foods around is sort of a new thing. I'd argue that we are sort of hard-wired to indulge in them. Like bears fattening up on berries before the lean winter. So why don't we cut ourselves some slack with the name-calling. Let's admit that we live in a totally dysfunctional food culture.
And then I thought about how I do moderation successfully. I mean, I certainly have a history of what I'd call compulsive eating, binge eating, etc. Even today, almost any time I have something in my home that COULD be over-consumed... cookies, a big cake, Rice Krispie treats... I overeat them. But over the years, I have found ways to manage that and support healthier habits.
So it's not like I've developed more will power. I've just created a world around me that makes it less likely I will indulge and makes it easier to be skillful in our dysfunctional food culture. Or maybe, I've just created my own mini food culture. But buy saying that I simply practice 'moderation' really minimizes how much work it takes. When I break it down, some of it involves my personal rules, some are binge-eating avoidance strategies and some involve 'planning for success'. I'll share them with you because if they work for someone like me, you might like them too.
MY RULES
These are more like the Unbreakable Vows. They're like, "I can't handle Oreos." Or even, "Doughnuts will ruin my day." Because I can't and they will. Neither of these things are part of my world. Also, "No sugar on an empty stomach." I've got to eat protein first. These are the three rules I can stick to.
My strategies for moderation
These might work for you. It really depends on what your lifestyle is like. But it will give you some ideas.
I have a family of 4 people who all want an equal share of any treat in the house and we share most of our meals. Keep that in mind. This reality is a strategy because I have to share everything.
Ice Cream: We only buy pints of good ice cream and only about once per month. It is then divided between 4 people and consumed in one sitting. No chance to overeat (and we are 5 miles from the nearest convenience store, which cuts down on impulse shopping.) Our current favorite is Ben & Jerry's Tonight Dough. Also, it's my husband who brings it home, so it's his surprise for us. He is less prone to impulsive ice cream shopping, so it's a good thing to delegate.
Pie/fruit crumbles: One pie, if stretched, can be a dessert for our whole family for no more than 2 nights. If I eat the leftovers, everyone will know it and hate me.
Cake: for birthdays, I make a small cake or limited number of cupcakes. Ideally, this will all be consumed in one glorious party moment.
Cookies: Whenever possible, I freeze portioned dough so we can have fresh, warm cookies when we like. AND... I don't have 3 dozen cookies ready to eat sitting on the counter. Even if I just freeze what can't be eaten (by a rational human) in 2 days, that helps.
Buying treats out: It's so easy to buy a muffin or cookie every time I need a pit stop in town. It's not healthy and it's a total waste of money. I get one treat out per week MAX. I keep pistachios in my car to fill me up if I get hungry while running errands.
Weekly grocery shopping: I buy ingredients to make treats, but I don't buy dessert foods. No cookies, no doughnuts, nothing. If we want dessert, we have to make it. Yes, my kids always ask. But they know the answer is no. It's actually easier with kids because I know that if I give in once, it sets a precedent and I'll have to battle it forever. Children have the memory of elephants when it comes to this kind of shit.
Costco-sized boxes of treats: Never. No. Recipe for disaster. It will not save you money. Don't fool yourself.
Girl Scout Cookies: Make a donation instead. None in my house. Ever.
Holidays: Enjoy celebrations, re-gift sugar, save awesome homemade things to serve at/take to parties. In January, do one week of zero sugar to break all these sugary habits.
My period: I allow myself one glorious chocolate fest and enjoy it once per month without judgement. I mean, it's going to happen. So let's just take away the shame and enjoy it. (For the ideal dessert in the Red Tent, I recommend my amazing chocolate pudding recipe or this surprisingly easy chocolate souffle.)
Planning for success
Eat breakfast and lunch on time. Don't let myself get overly hungry in the early part of the day. This means I bring breakfast and lunch with me if I'm out. Read more here for breakfast ideas.
Meals have at LEAST 15 grams of protein and some fat. This helps me feel full and prevents the need to snack.
Keep food and water in the car always and go to that first. Before I make a stop and am tempted to buy something else, I eat my snack and drink my water, then decide if I still need it.
During the especially busy times, I make a BIG batch of smoothie with my favorite protein powder, yogurt, coconut oil and berries. Before I rush out, I can fill up a to-go container with it and use that for a healthy snack or meal. This article gives you my favorite smoothie recipies and a guide to buying protein powders.
So yeah, the phrase MODERATION really does not reflect all of the work I do. By saying, "Just practice moderation," we really minimize the work that goes into it and fail to provide critical details about how this can actually take shape. If you harbor similar feelings of ill will towards this word, please feel free to pick out some of my ideas and try one or two out.